Adorable Love Quotes Adorable Love Quotes Funny

Love is great, but it also can be hilarious as well. And, humor in relationships is pretty important. Funny love quotes make you laugh, see from different aspects and bring you closer to each other.

If you're searching for love words to share with the people you love or just want to feel inspired yourself, browse through an amazing collection of romantic falling in love sayings, heartwarming long distance relationship quotes and i love you more than you know.

Best Funny Love Quotes

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are. Will Ferrell

I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough. Russell Brand

I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. Rita Rudner

Love is sharing your popcorn. Charles Schultz

Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing. Natasha Leggero

I miss crawling into a man's arm, kissing his neck, saying those three little words into his ear, 'And another thing …' Felicia Michaels

One cricket said to another – come, let us be ridiculous, and say, love! Conrad Aiken

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? Lily Tomlin

Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner. Jerry Seinfeld

Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn't show up on X-rays, but you know it's there. George Burns

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. Groucho Marx

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe. Jackie Mason

According to Newton's Law of love, love can neither be created nor destroyed. However, it can create a girlfriend who can destroy wallets. unkown

You can't shine like a diamond if you are not willing to get cut like a diamond! Eric Thomas

Will you lend me a kiss? I promise to give it back.

Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe. So basically a clown ninja.

Short Funny Love Quotes for Him and Her From The Heart

My wife is really sentimental. One Valentine's Day I gave her a ring and to this day she has never forgotten those three little words that were engraved inside — Made in Taiwan. Leopold Fetchner

Love is a two-way street constantly under construction. Carroll Bryant

The great question… which I have not been able to answer… is, 'What… does a woman want?' Freud

A man in love is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished. Zsa Zsa Gabor

Love is being stupid together. Paul Valery

Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings. David Sedaris

Love is the only kind of fire which is never covered by insurance.

Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. Phyllis Diller

I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it? Jean Illsley Clarke

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. Erma Bombeck

An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. Agatha Christie

True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen. Francois de la Rochefoucauld

Romance is the icing, but love is the cake.

Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener. Pauline Thomason

Love doesn't drop on you unexpectedly; you have to give off signals, sort of like an amateur radio operator. Helen Gurley Brown

I had a dream that I still loved you…I think I woke up screaming. Christine

I wasn't kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth. Chico Marx

Love is fun but, it is not going to pay the bills. Jessica Martin

It wasn't love at first sight. It took a full five minutes. Lucille Ball

A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears. Les Dawson

A kiss without a mustache is like an egg without salt. Spanish Proverb

People should fall in love with their eyes closed. Andy Warhol

He gave her a look that you could have poured on a waffle. Ring Lardner

If you text 'I love you' to a person and the person writes back an emoji — no matter what that emoji is, they don't love you back. Chelsea Peretti

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else. Jean Kerr

I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met. Steven Wright

Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. Fran Lebowitz

If she happens to fall, I'll be there to laugh at first and then help her up afterwards. J.A. Redmerski

Don't make love by the garden gate, love is blind but the neighbors ain't.

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. Joan Crawford

Marriage is like pantyhose. It all depends on what you put into it. Phyllis Schlafly

Funny Couple Quotes

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. Albert Einstein

Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses. Thomas Dewar

What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds. Cindy Garner

I love you more than coffee, but please don't make me prove it. Elizabeth Evans

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. Charles M. Schulz

Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery. Fulton J. Sheen

If you love 'em in the morning with their eyes full of crust; if you love 'em at night with their hair full of rollers, chances are, you're in love. Miles Davis

My last love is just like that thong peter griffin borrowed from me… Never getting it back. Refinnej Sin

You can't put a price tag on love. But if you could, I'd wait for it to go on sale. Hussein Nishah

My wife and I were happy for 20 years then we met. Rodney Dangerfield

Love is a sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock. Jewish Proverb

My brother is gay and my parents don't care, as long as he marries a doctor. Elayne Boosler

We're like Romeo & Juliet… Except for the dying part of course. Justina

Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties. Jules Renard

The great question which I have not been able to answer… is, "What does a woman want? Freud

Love is a two-way street constantly under construction. Carroll Bryant

Spend a few minutes a day really listening to your spouse. No matter how stupid his problems sound to you. Megan Mullally

If your significant other is mad at you put a cape on them and say "Now you're super mad!". If they laugh, marry them.

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. Rita Rudner

Cute Funny Love Quotes That You Can Relate To

Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. Judith Viorst

Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch. Cathy Carlyle

The more she turned right the more I turned wrong. Mark W. Boyer

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. David Bissonette

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So, each is inevitably disappointed. Albert Einstein

Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it. George Carlin

Love with old men is as the sun upon the snow, it dazzles more than it warms. J. P. Senn

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. Erich Segal

When you're in love, it's the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life. Richard Lewis

If only one could tell true love from false love as one can tell mushrooms from toadstools. Katherine Mansfield

Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other's minimum daily requirements. Kathy Mohnke

Love doesn't make the world go around. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile. Franklin P. Jones

In love, somehow, a man's heart is always either exceeding the speed limit or getting parked in the wrong place. Rowland

Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them. Bill Maher

Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in. Richard Jeni

My wife gets all the money I make. I just get apple and clean clothes every morning. Ray Romano

I love you and it's getting worse. Joseph E. Morris

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. Woody Allen

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. Professor Irwin Corey

A guy knows he's in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. Tim Allen

What's the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday. Cindy Garner

Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess. Lemony Snicket

Women hope men will change after marriage, but they don't; men hope women won't change, but they do. Bettina Arndt

Love; A temporary insanity curable by marriage. Ambrose Bierce

As a man in a relationship, you have a choice: You can be right, or you can be happy. Ralphie May

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. Henry Youngman

My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me. Garry Shandling

Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family. Chelsea Handler

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. Jimmy Durante

Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. Woody Allen

If you can stay in love for more than two years, you're on something. Fran Lebowitz

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. Richard Pryor

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. Chris Rock

My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light. Rodney Dangerfield

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself. Johnny Carson

The heart has its reasons, of which reason knows nothing. Blaise Pascal

I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early. Jack Benny

Women love a self-confident bald man. Larry David

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. Billy Crystal

In any perfect relationship men should remember it's a matter of direction; she takes what's right and you take what's left. Solitaire Parke

Marriage is a great institution for those who like institutions. Tommy Dewar

Love is not having to hold in your farts anymore. Bree Luckey

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain. Mark Twain

Love is like heaven, but it can hurt like hell.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop. H. L. Mencken

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy. Bob Hope

The brain is the most outstanding organ. It works 24/7, 365 from birth until you fall in love. Sophie Monroe

Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood. Oscar Wilde

When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad. Helen Rowland

Between lovers, a little confession is a dangerous thing. Helen Rowland

You know how people say, 'you can't live without love'? Well, oxygen is even more important. Dr. Gregory Houser

Love is telling someone to go to hell and worrying about them getting there safely.

The happiest marriage I can picture would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. Coleridge

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. Phyllis Diller

Marriage: a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters written in prose. Beverly Nichols

Relationships are hard. It's like a full-time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp. Bob Ettinger

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates

Marriage is a lot like the army, everyone complains, but you'd be surprised at the large number that re-enlist. James Garner

A woman might as well propose: her husband will claim she did. Edgar Watson Howe

An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her. Agatha Christie

I kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette on the same day. I haven't had time for tobacco since. Arturo Toscanini

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning a handspring or eating with chopsticks; it looks easy until you try it. Helen Rowland

To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia – to mistake an ordinary young man for a Greek god or an ordinary young woman for a goddess. H. L. Mencken

Every marriage tends to consist of an aristocrat and a peasant. John Updike

Marriage is not just spiritual communion and passionate embraces; marriage is also three-meals-a-day and remembering to carry out the trash. Joyce Brothers

In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice which is still very much practiced. Helen Rowland

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked. Bill Cosby

Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debating. Ray Bandy

Funny Couple Quotes for Instagram

You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You told me that you love me, so now I'm scared.

You make me happy like a full refrigerator.

We clean up pretty nice.

I knew I had to make you mine when you laughed at my jokes.

Keep calm and give me a kiss.

Might as well face it, we're addicted to love.

Orange you glad you met me.

I think I'm nuts for you. Either that or I'm just plain nuts.

We go together like hot sauce and everything.

I love you a latte.

You've stolen a pizza of my heart.

I love your eyes, your smile, and the way that you never remember to put the cap back on the tube of toothpaste.

We take the perfect picture because you light up the room.

I love your eyes, your smile, and how good of a dog parent you are.

Birds of the same feather, flock together.

I love you, even when I'm hungry.

You're my favorite flavor.

Like peanut butter and jelly.

A relationship is when one person is always right and the other person is the boyfriend.

We go along like salt and pepper.

We stick together like super glue.

We make each other laugh even when we don't want to smile.

My heart always goes boom whenever you're in the room.

Forget the butterflies! Whenever I'm with you, I feel the whole zoo.

Funny Love Facts:

• Do you know these funny facts about love?
  If your heart is happy, then it's healthy
  When you hug your partner, your stress level instantly relieves
  Couples' heartbeats synchronize
  
• Is love an emotion or feeling?
  It feels like an emotion but it's incredibly  a strong one.
  
• Which is stronger hate or love?
  Self love is strongest. Although hate is more current. If love is present it can win, if not, sadly hate is always wins.
  

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Source: https://bayart.org/funny-love-quotes/

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